Giving and Receiving Feedback: A Skill Worth Practising

Why feedback feels hard and why that’s a good thing

Feedback is something we practice every day in agency life; in reviews, stand-ups and client conversations. Yet, despite how familiar it is, feedback often feels uncomfortable. We brace ourselves to give it and instinctively defend ourselves when receiving it.

This insight is grounded in the work of Dr Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston whose research into vulnerability, courage, shame and leadership has shaped how I think about feedback more than anything else I’ve learned.

I first came across Brené Brown’s work at a point in my career where feedback felt particularly hard. I was confident in my role, but less confident in navigating emotionally charged conversations, especially when feedback felt personal, hierarchical or poorly delivered. Her observations helped me articulate why feedback can feel so uncomfortable, and more importantly, how it can be done better.

Brown challenges the idea that vulnerability is a weakness. Instead, she frames it as a skill; one that can be learned, practised and strengthened. That reframing was a turning point for me. When I started applying it to feedback, it stopped feeling like something to endure and started feeling like something genuinely useful.

As a project manager in a marketing agency, I’ve seen firsthand how teams thrive when feedback is handled with openness and care, and how quickly things unravel when it isn’t. Brené Brown’s lens has helped me make sense of those moments, because feedback works best when it’s rooted in courage, clarity and mutual respect.

Brené Brown’s perspective: vulnerability as a strength

Brené Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Feedback contains all three.

Giving feedback means risking how we’ll be perceived. Receiving it means sitting with discomfort, uncertainty and the possibility that we need to change. In professional environments that value confidence and competence, this can feel counterintuitive.

But Brown’s research consistently shows that vulnerability is the foundation of trust, creativity and meaningful connection. In the workplace, that translates into better collaboration, stronger teams and more resilient performance.

When feedback is grounded in vulnerability, it becomes an act of respect rather than criticism – a signal that someone is worth the honesty.

Giving feedback: choosing courage over comfort

One of Brené Brown’s most practical ideas is that clear is kind. Avoiding feedback to spare feelings may feel compassionate, but it often creates confusion, resentment or stalled growth.

Courageous feedback starts with intention:

• Are you trying to help the person grow, or simply relieve your own frustration?
• Are you prepared to be open to dialogue, not just deliver a message?

In practice, this means focusing on behaviour and impact, not personality. It means being specific, grounded and calm, and recognising that your role is not to control the reaction, but to show up honestly and respectfully.

This idea of clarity as kindness closely aligns with one of ActionRocket’s core values: kindness. Kindness in feedback doesn’t mean being vague or avoiding difficult conversations; it means being thoughtful about how and why feedback is given, and ensuring it comes from a place of improvement, not ego.

Receiving feedback: practising vulnerability in real time

If giving feedback requires courage, receiving it demands self-awareness.

This is the part I personally find most challenging and most dependent on trust. I find it easier to receive feedback when there’s a mutual understanding and respect with the person giving it. When I know feedback is coming from a place of kindness and genuine improvement, I’m far more open to hearing it. Conversely, it’s easy to sense when feedback isn’t grounded in those intentions, which can make it harder to engage openly.

Brené Brown speaks about the importance of staying curious rather than defensive. In feedback conversations, that can look like:

• listening without interrupting
• not rushing to justify or explain
• asking questions to understand intent
• taking time to reflect before responding

Receiving feedback well doesn’t mean accepting everything as truth. It means engaging with it openly and deciding consciously what to take forward. That discernment is part of the skill.

Feedback as a shared responsibility

One of the most powerful shifts teams can make is viewing feedback as a shared practice, not a top-down process.

Brené Brown often talks about ‘rumbling’ – which is staying in the conversation even when it’s uncomfortable. In agency environments, where collaboration is constant and pressure is high, this ability is invaluable.

When feedback is normalised:

• trust increases
• assumptions surface earlier
• learning accelerates
• relationships strengthen

As project managers, leaders and collaborators, we help shape this culture by modelling vulnerability ourselves – asking for feedback, receiving it openly and giving it with care.

Why this matters

Feedback rooted in vulnerability doesn’t just improve individual performance; it improves how teams work together.

In creative agencies, where ideas are challenged daily, and collaboration is everything, vulnerability is not a soft concept. It’s a practical skill that underpins great work.

When we choose courage over comfort in feedback conversations, we create environments where people feel safe to learn, experiment and grow. That kind of culture – grounded in clarity, respect and kindness – benefits everyone: teams, clients and outcomes.

Further learning: Brené Brown on vulnerability and feedback

For anyone wanting to explore these ideas further, Brené Brown’s work offers powerful insights:

TED Talks

• The Power of Vulnerability – a foundational talk on why vulnerability is essential to connection and growth.
• Listening to Shame – explores how shame shows up and how it affects behaviour, including at work.

Books

• Dare to Lead – particularly relevant for workplace feedback, leadership and courageous conversations.
• Rising Strong – on learning from failure and navigating tough moments.
• The Gifts of Imperfection – a broader exploration of embracing vulnerability.

These resources provide a deeper understanding of why feedback feels hard and how practising vulnerability makes it more effective.

Personally… I’m still learning, but I can see that in a creative agency, where ideas are challenged daily, and collaboration is constant, vulnerability isn’t a soft skill; it’s a practical one.

Feedback is not always comfortable, but it’s always worth it.